Detoxic Avengers

The best thing I have ever done for my body.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:30:13 -0500

The plan (in effect since Jan 1, 2012):

No dairy (including lactose free varieties)
No meat (occasional fish- less than once per month)
Goal of making 51% of all meals raw
Limit grains, gluten, & soy as much as possible

That’s it! And I’m being honest when I say I don’t feel deprived in any way. There is soooo much good food that exists within these limits.

Bonuses:
I no longer have to watch my weight: I’m maintaining a healthy physique without calorie counting

Food makes me feel good: It’s a simple concept but how often do we all eat to the point of misery?

I feel like I’ve unlocked some sort of secret to wellness when in reality, its just plain logic.

I know you didn’t ask, but I’m excited about feeling like this and I wanted to share.

Thanks,
Tayler

This meme has been going around the internet and I take HUUUUUGE...

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:52:25 -0500

This meme has been going around the internet and I take HUUUUUGE issue with it.

Here’s why:
This photo isn’t taking into consideration genetics, socioeconomic upbringing, or PROFESSIONAL HAIR & MAKEUP. I could show you a lot of 51 year old women who eat “meat, butter, and desserts” who don’t look like Nigellea. The the same is true for Gillian.

It is irresponsible to vilify a health conscious woman simply because, without a professional makeup team, she’s not as conventionally attractive as some TV host in a ballgown. This comparing of apples to oranges is reinforcing an unhealthy stereotype and is damaging to the female image.

Consider this thought: Both women are beautiful.

Some may say (mostly those that are uneducated about nutrition and wellness) that colonics, detoxing, and ‘depriving yourself of food pleasures’ is extreme.

I’d argue that coronary bypass surgery is more “extreme” than a colonic. And that eating hormone injected, tortured, and genetically modified franken-foods is more “extreme” than chewing on a piece of organic celery.

Dont get me wrong, I think advances in surgical medicine are wonderful and revolutionary and save lives. But the concious lifestyle that leads someone to the point where they require such surgeries for survival is far more extreme than simply encouraging a healthy diet of whole foods and wellness.

Personally, I’d take a colonic and a salad over an expensive potentially life threatening surgical procedure that requires a vein to be removed from my leg and implanted into my heart ANY DAY.

Before you accuse me of being preachy, I DO think people should eat what they want without judgment. But they also have a right to know WHAT they’re eating and HOW it affects them and their environment then make educated choices based on that information.

I take issue with this post because it’s passing judgement on someone’s lifestyle based entirely on false and superficial standards. These photos have been specifically chosen and doctored to support an unfair argument.

It’s like saying “Here’s a picture of someone covered in dirt who dances funny and here’s a picture of someone fresh out of the shower with a new haircut who murders people. So obviously murdering is good. I REST MY CASE.”

The elements of propaganda at work in this photo NEED TO BE RECOGNIZED and the social ramifications of passing judgment on someone and their lifestyle based solely on one unflattering or flattering photo needs to be considered and taken seriously.

I think as women (moreover as HUMANS) we need to stick together and perpetuate an environment of love and acceptance. Not cut someone down and write them off because they took a bad picture.

Personally, I would hate to be held up and judged by these standards. The fact remains that no one looks as beautiful as that picture of Nigellea all the time. NOT EVEN NIGELLEA. Even so, does that make her any better or worse than Gillian?

As women we have a responsibility to each other to recognize oppression or discrimination in our own gender and stand up for ALL people whether ugly, pretty, fat, or skinny.

This struck me as more than a funny jab at a holistic lifestyle. It’s an unprovoked threat to the conventions of beauty. It’s reinforcing the idea that because someone is more attractive they’re obviously better/smarter/correct. And feeding a status quo that is ultimately keeping all of us oppressed by unrealistic standards.

It’s unfair and I can’t stay quiet any longer.
“If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

Don’t create pedestals on the backs of others.
Create love & perpetuate tolerance.
We’ve all gotta live together, why not make it as enjoyable as we can FOR EVERYONE.

Love,
Tayler

Day 18: Not giving up!

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:55:39 -0400

Ok so here’s the deal.

This weekend is Labor Day weekend, you see? It’s also Bumbershoot weekend. We have tickets to Sunday and Monday. I wait ALL YEAR for this festival. Day 21 will be Saturday as in the last official day of our detox.

But the book states when ending the detox, there is a strict regimen you must follow to wean yourself back on to food.

It starts with integrating protein shakes, then fruit, then salad, oils, nuts, proteins etc.
It’s a long process.

So in essence, the diet is NOT realy 21 days but at least 28-31.

We did not plan for this.

SOOOOOOOO in order to not torture ourselves this labor day weekend, we have decided to start the weaning process early so we can be, at least partially, back to foods by the weekend. Not giving up! Just partially altering the timeline.

The exciting part: WE HAD A SALAD TODAY! IT WAS GLORIOUS! I FEEL DRUNK!
I’ve never had so much appreciation or gratitude for my food in my entire life. No dressing, nothing fancy. Just raw wonderful delicious organic vegetables!!

IT FEELS AMAZING TO CHEW. This salad probably took me 30 mins to complete. I relished in it. I chewed like I’ve never chewed before. And now I feel completely alive.

We’ll still be following the strict regimen for the rest of the week just slowly introducing new foods in one at a time.

We look and feel GREAT! Bryan has lost 22 lbs and I have lost 13! He just shaved off his rally beard and he looks INCREDIBLE! Though everyone has told me I’ve lost my butt so I look forward to getting that guy back a bit!

Tonight we’re off to see one of my FAVORITE bands Nico Vega!

What a great night. Salad and good music. I’ve never had so much gratitude for the simpler things in life.

I’ll be writing a wrap-up post in the coming days complete with my before and after photos!

No regrets! Feeling amazing!

Love,
Tayler

DAY 14! One week to go!

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 17:20:11 -0400

Two-thirds! TWO THIRDS of the way through! This time next week will be our FINAL day of the detox! Unbelievable!

In celebration of our completion, Bryan has purchased us tickets to see Micheal McDonald at the Puyallup Fair!

You should know that I am excited about this in the most un-ironic of ways. Very little else makes me more happy than soft rock and state fair shows. Best boyfriend ever!

Onto actual detox conversation, We FINALLY got a juicer and I juiced my own drink today. I wish we would’ve done this sooner. It was fantastic. I went to the market today and got tons of organic greens. My juice consisted of:
Cucumber
Kale
Spinach
Ginger
Carrot
and it was gooood. The ginger made it slightly spicy. It tasted so fresh and alive and now I feel like I’m drunk from drinking it.

Nothing fancy, just a cute little Black & Decker number. It totally does the trick! If you don’t have one, GO GET A JUICER! So great.

I got a detoxifying body wrap this week that was pretty excessive and ridiculous.

First they cover you in mud, then they wrap you in a plastic sheet, then a mylar sheet, then a canvas bag, THEN a blanket. Then you lay there for an hour on a heated table while you sweat out all the toxins. I guess it was good for me but I didn’t notice much of a difference other than the fact that I felt like a giant burrito. That being said, it was very relaxing to take some time out for myself and the spa had some great heated rooms (charcoal, mud & jade, salt, etc.) that you could sit in to meditate and detoxify, and that was pretty wonderful. So all in all not an entire loss!

What else, oh! I’m embarrassed to say this but we tried the coffee enema this week and it WORKED. It was pretty amazing. Ridiculous but amazing. I might actually become one of those enema people now because I felt really great afterwards and still do!

Moving on! We’ve been taking a beginners yoga class at Shakti Vinyasa in Ballard and its really wonderful. I feel like I’m high whenever we get out of class. My body feels so alive and tingling, my head its clear. It’s a really great place. They practice is called “Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga” and it was created by this guy Baron Baptiste. I’ve also been reading his book “Journey into Power” and he’s pretty legit. His whole philosphy is “get out of your head and have fun with what you’re doing” which I can get on board with. I don’t like when people take things like yoga too seriously.

Check it out, it’s a good read.

Now just because this detox is going swimmingly (and we’re averaging around a pound per day on weight loss) don’t think that we are now above the usual temptations of food & drink. We are COUNTING THE DAYS til we can sit on the patio of a restaurant and enjoy some sushi, or a salad, or a Falafel Veggie Plate from Mr. Gyros (its ALL I can think about).

Yesterday Bryan had a really rough day and he was talking about all he needed was a beer and some sushi. But once he got beyond that, he realized that that was his crutch! He eats when he needs the comfort or stress relief (and so do I). And now that he’s realized that, he can work toward recognizing it when it pops up and curbing those feelings in other ways. This detox will really teach you not only about your body but about yourself and your tendencies.

I think one of the biggest things I will take away from this experience is the mental clarity. I’ve had the ability to slow down, step back, calm down, and really assess my lifestyle choices and evaluate what has been working for me and what hasn’t. And I have the time and the know how to make those changes where I need to. This has been just as much a spiritual journey as it has been physical. And I’m so grateful for all of it.

I’ll leave you now, green tongued and glowing as we venture into the FINAL WEEK of the detox! Thank you all for sticking with us this far!

Love always,
Tayler

In celebration of day 14, may I present to you, my favorite song...

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 16:33:00 -0400

In celebration of day 14, may I present to you, my favorite song about this very day:

TWO WEEKS by Grizzly Bear!

The song is awesome, the video is scary.

Enjoy!

Debbie Merrill! We found this woman on California public access...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:16:45 -0400

Debbie Merrill!

We found this woman on California public access a few years ago and I’ve totally been thinking about her during the detox.

Let me start off by saying she is insane in the most charming of ways.

She’s a 60+ year old raw vegan/rollerskate queen, i.e. Amy Poheler’s real-life dream character.

She’s hilarious and I love her. She’s so happy and insane and young spirited and full of life.

It’s a testament that eating well makes you feel good, albeit a bit crazy. But honestly, I’m not sure anyone is as happy as crazy little Debbie Merrill in her patriotic rollerskating clothes.

I aspire to be as ridiculous as her when I’m 60. She’s probably gonna outlive all of us. Or possibly just explode into a giant supernova never to be heard from again.

Either way, check her out. You won’t believe she’s for real.

Love,
Tayler

Halfway There!

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:57:38 -0400

It’s midday of Day 10! Do you know what that means?! We’ve officially hit the halfway mark! Only 10.5 more days to go! We can totally do this!

For some strange reason I’ve been intensely craving hummus lately which is insane considering it’s not even a solid food. Shouldn’t I be craving something crunchy that I can chew? No, I’m craving mediterranen baby food.

Yumtown, USA:

There are a few things I’d like to point out that I haven’t addressed yet.
So aside from the overall food detox, we’ve also been taking other measures to release our toxins and prevent new ones from creeping on us.

1.) Dry Brushing
We’ve been dry brushing with a vegetable fiber brush before every shower. It stimulates the lymphatic system, increases circulation and aids in removal of toxins from the system. Plus it wakes you up in morning and makes your skin incredibly soft.

Speaking of the lymphatic system…

2.) Rebounding
We’ve been jumping on a rebounder for at least 20 mins 3 times a week. This is really great for your lymph system which is the second largest player in flushing toxins from your body.

Refer to this bald vagina-less boobed lady for reference:

“The lymphatic system is the metabolic garbage can of the body. It rids you of toxins such as dead and cancerous cells, nitrogenous wastes, fat, infectious viruses, heavy metals, and other assorted junk cast off by the cells. The movement performed in rebounding provides the stimulus for a free-flowing system that drains away these potential poisons.

Arterial blood enters the capillaries in order to supply the cells with fresh fluid containing food and oxygen. Rebounding’s bouncing motion effectively moves and recycles the lymph and the entire blood supply through the body many times during the course of the rebounding session.”

Check out how happy this lady is:

3.) No Makeup!
I’ve also removed all nail polish and makeup (except when absolutely necessary) from my body.

Thats been kind of tough since I feel like a man face, but I’m noticing the more often I go without makeup, the better I look in my own skin.
This is me right now. At work, with a pimple on my face, and I’m cool with it! Plain Jane!:

I feel better and my skin gets a chance to chill out for a few weeks. True, I don’t feel very glamorous but very little about this detox is glamourous. Pretty sure I’ll survive.

3.) Yoga
I’ve been doing basic sun salutations for 15 minutes every morning. And tonight Bryan and I start our first yoga class. It’s really helped my mental state, not to mention my flexibility. You’re talking to a girl that still can’t touch her toes. This is good for me.

4.) Journaling
Along with regularly updating this blog (which has been a huge source of support, thanks for reading!), I’ve set aside another 15 minutes in the morning to free write. I’ll be honest its mostly just drivel and whining and I have no desire to read what I’ve written so far but it helps to get my emotions out and on paper. No judgement!

I’m hoping to carry out a lot of the elements of these new lifestyle changes after the detox. They seem to be helping not only my health but my overall state of mind. I feel more grounded and in tune with my body. I have more of a desire to care for myself and treat myself kindly. People have been telling me I am glowing. My colon therapist said my aura was bigger and brighter and I believe her, I feel much better.

Man if I could just have some damn hummus while I was doing all these things, my life would be complete!

More tomorrow, from the other side of the hump!

YIPPEE! YAY US!

Love,
Tayler

P.S. Bryan looks AMAZING. Wait’ll you see him!

Feeling Strong on Day 10!

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 13:38:28 -0400

So here it is, day 10, nearly half way through the detox and I feel like we’ve nearly made it over the proverbial hump. We’ve definitely hit a few bumps in the road (moments of temptation, weakness, lethargy, headaches, stomach aches, etc. etc.), but so far I feel like results have been good. A sense of empowerment has started to sprout and making changes to our lifestyle, in regards to food and activity, has become our shifting focus once the detox comes to an end.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still constantly thinking about food and what foods I want to eat as soon as this whole thing is over, but for now, I’m focused on making it through with the best results possible!

10 days in and already lost 16 lbs., feeling strong!!

-Bryan

Last night we cooked a coconut curry soup with coconut...

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 13:23:00 -0400

Last night we cooked a coconut curry soup with coconut (obviously), sweet potatoes, kale, spinach, bok choy, and garlic. It was quite tasty, but now I’m craving Indian food! I’ve decided that once we go back to eating whole foods again, going out for Indian food is one of my top priorities.

-Bryan

Day 7: YIPPEE!

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 13:33:06 -0400

After today we will have completed ONE WEEK! HOORAY!

So far so good!

I made it through the late show on Thursday without a hitch. I actually realized that alcohol is not essential to having fun when going out. A simple concept but one I had yet to master. Though I did ask to smell my friends glass of Makers. It was pretty satisfying.

Thats a strange thing that Bryan and I have discovered while on this adventure: We still love seeing, smelling, and talking about food! Not in some masochistic way where we enjoy torturing ourselves. We’re not considering actually eating it at the time. But food is a big part of our lives. We love it. Once when my sister was introducing us to guests at a party she said “This is Tayler & Bryan. They eat well.” She didn’t mean it in a fat way, she meant that we take careful consideration of what we put in our body, nutritious or otherwise. We love discovering new restaurants, talking about food, cooking, it’s a big part of our lives. It’s nice to know that that passion can still exist without actually indulging in it.

Just to prove my point, here’s a picture of my form of kryptonite, crispy hashbrowns:

They look beautiful but I’ve got nothin! I don’t wanna eat em! I just like looking! Crazy!

Which brings me to my next point. I’ve never noticed how much our culture revolves around eating or drinking! It’s insane! Everywhere you look someone is putting something in their mouths! We have an oral fixation!

We haven’t been very social lately because we can’t partake! Every social event’s centerpiece is food or alcohol! I’m starting to sense that it is the ultimate go-to entertainment crutch. If the party sucks, “at least there was food,” “at least there was a bar.” Who have we become?! If you do a google image search for the word “entertaining,” 95% if the images are of food or alcohol. Here’s one of my favorites, because nothing says “fun” quite like a platter of processed meats!:

Bryan and I walked to the park yesterday and people were eating giant sandwiches. On the drive home from work, everyone that is outside enjoying the sun is on the patio of a bar or restaurant. I haven’t been meeting up with my girlfriends because we always drink wine while we gossip.

I mean, good God, look at how happy this woman is! You’d think someone just told her she found her birth parents or her lost puppy, or that her student loans we’re absolved or that socialized healthcare was finally available for everyone in need. But no, she’s about to pee her pants because she’s gonna drink some wine and eat some food. Insanity!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting preachy. I LOVE dinner parties. I get off on sitting outside with a giant glass of wine, just like the next guy. I just think, like all things American, we’ve lost sight of the concept of moderation. I’m slowly learning that there are other things to live for besides a perfect glass of red or (it pains me to say it) a giant plate of sushi.

I’m working on reprograming myself to find other activities and other ways of rewarding myself that aren’t so exclusively food centric. We’re reading more, going on walks, watching movies, doing yoga, blogging, etc. It feels good to break the cycle. Empowering even.

We’re going out dancing tonight to celebrate and I am so excited to just go dance the night away with friends without having to worry about my blood alcohol levels.

Bryan said I was glowing last night. My clothes are fitting looser. Bryan’s lost 11lbs already, I’ve lost around 6.

I hate to brag but damn, we’re looking good!

Have an awesome weekend, and thanks for reading!
Love,
Tayler

Day 5: Poop & Grandparents

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 19:19:57 -0400

I skipped a day, sorry.

Yesterday wasn’t too eventful. I stuck to the regimen, was feeling better, a little lethargic.

I had band practice that ran pretty late so it was a bit of a challenge being active AFTER dinner, but I made it through.

I’m feeling better everyday. I really think this is a great thing for me. I can already notice a change in my body, my attitude, my brain, and my digestive system.

Also on a slightly graphic note, I’ve learned that we’re all pooping wrong! My friend posted an article on his facebook page about 4 months ago I remember reading it but not really following up on it. We should all be squatting or using a foot stool when use the bathroom. The clinician at The Tummy Temple talked to me about it as well. They had a fancy bamboo stool there but she said that you can use anything. She said when she goes over to friends’ houses that dont have one, she turns the bathroom trash can over and puts her feet on it!

Here’s the gist of it, you can read the entire article here. It also lists 6 other things we do wrong everyday.

“A 2003 study observed 28 people pooping in three positions: sitting on a high toilet, sitting on a lower one and squatting like they were catchers at a baseball game (catcher’s mitt optional, but encouraged). After initially being mistaken for a German porn company, the researchers found that pooping took about a minute less when done squatting and that participants rated the experience as “easier” (God, we hope they were getting paid).

In fact, toilets that require you to squat that way have been the standard for most of human history and are still widely used in the non-Western world.

According to proctologists, ”We were not meant to sit on toilets, we were meant to squat in the field.” When you’re in a sitting or standing position, you’re forming an angle between the where the poop is and where the poop’s gotta come out. There’s even a muscle that’s purpose is to tighten things up when we’re sitting or standing to prevent accidents. Squatting straightens out this angle and removes the chokehold.

If the thought of squatting awkwardly on top of your toilet seat isn’t for you, you can produce a similar poop-enhancing angle by resting your feet on a footstool (or anything handy) and leaning the top half of your body forward.”

I tried it it’s awesome. I hate talking about poop but I gotta say I recommend it!

Alright moving on:

Bryan and I have received a pretty negative backlash from both our grandparents when they found out we were detoxing. They don’t believe in it. My grandma thinks I’m starving myself, Bryan’s grandpa thinks we’re crazy. It’s hard to hear that from someone you love but I also have to put myself in their shoes to understand where they’re coming from.

Because of nutrient deficient soil due to over-farming, fruits and vegetables have upwards of 50% LESS NUTRIENTS today than they did back in 1950. That means we’d have to eat DOUBLE the amount they did 60 years ago just to keep up! Not to mention the heavy increase in processed food we are taking in everyday. The average american diet conisits of 60% processed and refined foods! 60%! That means more than half of the food we’re eating ISN’T ACTUAL FOOD! GROSS! You can google a TON of articles on the subject. I found a good one here.

Don’t even get me started on the increased amount of pollution, off gassing and toxic chemicals we are unknowingly (and sometimes knowingly) ingesting everyday! These are different times than the ones our grandparents grew up in. Christ, their doctors prescribed cigarettes and alcohol. They’re coming from a completely different mindset. I can understand that, but it doesn’t apply to me. We need to evolve with the times. We need to take care of our bodies despite the hostile environments we surround ourselves in.

The harsh truth is we’ve all been abusing our bodies and our planet. You don’t drive your car for 26 years without doing any maintenance or fluid flushes on it. And I don’t wanna do the same to my body.

Alright, my rant is over. I’ve said my peace. It’s funny, the more healthy I feel the more passionate I become about defending my choices and educating people on what they’re eating. I worry I get preachy or self-righteous sometimes but damn if I don’t just wanna walk into a KFC and scream “WAKE THE F@#K UP!”
It’s gross, some of the things we’ve been told are ok to eat are just awful. It’s heartbreaking.
Ok, I’m really finished now, I promise.

On a more positive note!

Super excited for tonights soup:
Butternut squash
Sweet Potatoes
Spinach
Chard
Onion
Cinnamon
Nutmeg

My band (Vaudeville Etiquette) is playing a late show tonight. We don’t go on until MIDNIGHT. I’m a little nervous about it for a couple reasons.

1.) Since the detox started I’ve been in bed by 11 every night. I’m worried if my energy can sustain me til the wee small hours. I may take a protein shake with me just for strength.

2.) This will be the first time since the detox that I will have put myself in a “drinking & partying” environment. I love to drink whiskey at my shows. In fact, I don’t like to get on stage until I’ve had one.

Tonight will be the true test of my willpower!

I WILL CONQUER THIS NIGHT FULL OF ENERGY AND ALCOHOL FREE!!

More tomorrow! I’ll let you know how I did tonight!

Thanks for reading!

Love always,
Tayler

The Healing Crisis

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 00:01:55 -0400

I woke up this morning feeling extremely weak. I was commenting to Bryan that I felt like a starving African child (apologies to the ACTUAL starving African children).

But I got up and got moving anyway. Drank my goji juice and hopped in the shower. Then it hit me. What the book calls “The Healing Crisis.” I felt like I had the worst hangover. My muscles were sore, I was dizzy, nauseated, weak, and extremely tired. I laid back down in bed and didn’t last two minutes before I was running to the bathroom to vomit. It was like this all morning. I hopped back into bed and slept for another 2 hours. I was about ready to give up.

Bryan to the rescue! He encouraged me to drink more water and continue with the drinks. And also to have a protein shake. So while I was drinking the protein shake, I went online to the Martha’s Vineyard Detox Facebook page because I noticed ‘Dr. Roni’ had been very interactive with people that posted their questions.

Here’s how it went down:

So apparently I’m “extremely toxic.” Awesome. But it makes me happy to know that I am making the right steps to be healthy and happy again.

In case you’re curious, I did not do the coffee enema, and I’m not sure I will. Yikes, we’ll see.

So I spent a morning resting and rehydrating and wouldn’t you know, I ended up feeling GREAT.

I went to the store to get some ingredients for tonight’s soup which was awesome:
Kale
Bok Choy
Red Chard
Spinach
Fresh Garlic
Fresh Ginger
Green, white, & purple beans
and
Braggs liquid aminos

It was awesome asiany green goodness. I’ll probably continue to make it after the cleanse.

We took my friend Amy’s advice and watched “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead” on Netflix instant and I have to say it is highly recommended. Super inspiring and motivating. Watch that if you have any doubts about what we are doing or need something to jumpstart your eating habits.

I still have loads of energy and feel great and I must say I’m relieved that I made it through the healing crisis early and quickly.

Onwards and upwards from here!
Also, check out the trailer for “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead” below!

Love always,
Tayler

“Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead Trailer”

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 23:41:16 -0400

“Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead Trailer”

Bryan here...

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 14:00:27 -0400

Well, here it is, in the midst of day 3, and I’m finally getting around to writing something down on here. Sorry about the delay. Anyway, I decided to take this detox for a second ride for various reasons, health and weight loss being at the forefront. The other reason was to help jump start myself and Tayler on a healthier lifestyle. Not that we were so unhealthy to begin with, but we were both finding ourselves with digestion problems, headaches, and lack of energy. Longevity in life begins with preventative measures, especially within the environment we live today. It’s easy to fall back into bad habits, which can easily lead to a downward spiral into weight problems and disease. I’m viewing this detox as a means of getting back on track to a healthier and happier me. The weight loss helps keeps me focused and motivated though.

starting weight: 234 lbs.

weight as of day 3: 226 lbs. (already lost 8 lbs. in 2 days!)

DAY 2

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:32:18 -0400

Welp ladies and gentlemen, the euphoria had subsided and the cravings have set in.

Name a food and I have thought about it today. Despite the fact that I am feeling much better, my brain is trying to tell me that I would feel even BETTER if I had french fries.

BUT NO!

I will stand strong and kick this detox in the ASS!
I’m gonna go eat my delicious SOUP and I’m gonna stretch my muscles and watch some Rango and forget all about solid foods for tonight.

Only 19 more days to go!

Also, journalling, meditation, yoga and this photo are helping a lot:

My friend Amy mentioned a movie called “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead” which sounds like some quality programming during these 3 weeks. I’ll take anything I can get to get over this initial hump!

It also helps that I have Bryan doing the detox with me. He’s been super supportive and awesome and disciplined. Whadda guy.

More tomorrow!

Love,

Tayler

DAY 1

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 20:37:36 -0400

We did it!

Day number one is more than half way done!

And so far so awesome.

I must pat myself on the back for making the ingenious decision to watch Food Inc. this morning which has completely turned me off from any food I would be craving.

We’re lucky enough to have one of the best farmers markets in the city right down the street from us on Sundays so we walked down and got tons of fresh organic vegetables for our soups…and fresh flowers cause I like pretty things.

We’re making it through the powdered green drink and “vegesplash” alright but I can see where around week 2-3 I’m going to be choking it down.

The book recommends that before you shower daily, you should rub your skin with a dry brush to help exfoliate and further rid your body of impurities. I must say it was amazing. I felt like Ethan Hawke in Gattaca, SO MUCH SKIN CAME OFF! I turned white and dusty! I was screaming to Bryan from the bathroom, “I LOOK LIKE A POWDERED DONUT!” After a hot shower and a dry brush, your skin feels so invigorated and alive. Just putting my jeans on was an amazing experience, I felt like the nerves in my skin could actually “feel” again.

And then it was off to the colonic, dun-Dun-DUNN!!!

We went to a place called The Tummy Temple in Ravenna and it was pretty lovely. Its on the top floor of an old house and the atmosphere is homey and calming. And they have all these herbal lotions and face sprays that I tend to geek out over. I go crazy for that crap.

Lemme say, from an admitted skeptic, it was actually a really good experience. Aside from the obvious discomforts, it felt good to know that I was taking proactive steps to help my body.
They warn you that afterward you may feel temporary feelings of euphoria which I was lucky enough to experience. We were driving around Greenlake and I felt like shouting to crowds of people “I love you all! My colon is cleeeean!!”

THEN we went to THRIVE which might possibly be our salvation for the next three weeks. They have amazing raw and living juices which we not only indulged in while there, but took a 3-day supply of freshly squeezed kale, spinach, cucumber, celery, bok choy, etc. Everyone in there is helpful and happy and gorgeous. Thrive is good healthy eating personified. If you live in Seattle, definitely check it out. 65th & Roosevelt.

We’re back at home and about to make our first soup. Gonna jump on the rebounder for 20 minutes while watching some Curb Your Enthusiasm, awesome. Larry David is going to keep me grounded from all this new-agey, body euphoria hulabaloo. Prit-tee, prit-tee, prit-tee good!

I hate to say it because I’m annoyed by people wo gush about how good they feel, but damn if I don’t feel really awesome and light and free right now. We’ll see how long I can keep that up.

I’m going to have Bryan take a picture of me tonight so we can watch any changes. I’m toying with the idea of taking a picture everyday of the detox and then putting it into time lapse at the end to see if there are any dramatic changes.

So thats it! Tonight Bryan and I will toast to our successful first day during our bedtime regimen of aloe vera juice (barf) and we’ll see how it goes tomorrow!

Thank you to everyone who has expressed encouraging words of support thus far. It means a lot and I may need to lean on you if in a few days if I start screaming “just gimme a goddamn burrito!”

More tomorrow! Until then, I’ll leave you with the video below of our official theme song. We’re gonna sing it to remind ourselves how cool we are.

Oh yeah, and for all you number crunchers out there:
Starting weight: 126.4

Have a good night and enjoy eating all your solid food and alcohol!

Love always,
Tayler

OFFICIAL ‘DETOXIC AVENGERS’ THEME SONG

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 20:30:38 -0400

OFFICIAL ‘DETOXIC AVENGERS’ THEME SONG

"But, WHY?!"

Sat, 13 Aug 2011 21:52:00 -0400

We’re doin’ it! Bryan and I are embarking on the Martha’s Vineyard Detox! 21 days of nothing but soup, green drinks, green tea and complaining starting tomorrow!

The plan boasts that you’ll lose an average of 21 lbs in the 21 days and also restore your health in the process. Check it out at http://mvdietdetox.com. (You can also YouTube it to find an almost unwatchable appearance of the author on The View where she tries in all seriousness to explain the detox while Joy Behar and Sherri Shepard are literally screaming and trying to eat the display the entire time.)

The main response we’ve received when we tell people that we’re doing this detox is “WHY?!”

Lemme break it down: So Bryan did this detox once before when, while listening to Howard Stern, heard that Robin Quivers did it and had awesome success with it. So about 2 years ago, he bit the bullet and did it.

And wouldn’t you know the guy had an amazing experience. He lost almost 30 lbs, his skin and hair we’re glowing, he felt awesome, he could lift cars, see through walls and soothe crying babies with the wink of his eye.
Ok so maybe not the last 3, but (and I’m sure he’ll talk about it) he couldn’t say enough good things about this diet!

So it got me thinking. I’m not looking to loose a ton of weight (though smaller cankles would be nice) but I have insane digestive issues, a ton of stress, and I’m known to overindulge on the alcoholic libations on more than one occasion. I’ve been getting migraines, feeling run down, my body just feels out of sync. I wanted to try the detox!

I told Bryan and he was super enthusiastic to try it again. So here we are. T minus one day. For the next 21 days this will be our lives:

(though not the herbal laxative, gross. we’re taking digestive enzymes)

Things I am most excited about:

Improved digestion
Glowing skin & hair
Feeling lighter and energized
No more migraines!
Slowing down & pampering myself
Jump starting a more healthy routine
Slimming down (cankles, remember?)

Things I am not excited about:

Food cravings
Ravenously staring at people who are innocently eating
No alcohol for 3 weeks (not even wine, ugh)
Becoming a shut-in because my social life mostly revolves around food & drink
The “healing crisis” that is supposed to happen between days 3-7 where you are tired, grumpy, pimply, and miserable while the toxins are escaping your body.

The kicker (and the almost-dealbreaker) of the cleanse:
They insist on you having one colonic per week while you are detoxing. It’s essential to cleanse your colon of impurities. So yeah, my first colonic is tomorrow, and you bet your ass (pun intended) I will be writing about it here. Yikes.

We’re going out tonight to gorge on sushi (and lychee martinis for me) in celebration of our last solid food for 3 weeks, then it all starts tomorrow morning. Here’s a peek at our daily regimen.

So check back if you’re curious as to how the whole thing is going. Both Bryan and I will be updating here. Hopefully daily, but we’ll see. I’m hoping this will be an outlet for our frustations and our sanity.

I’ll leave you now with a shirtless photo taken of Steve Harvey after his success with the Martha’s Vineyard Detox.
You’re welcome.

Here goes nothing!

Faithfully yours,

Tayler